He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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