Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??