dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.