Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.