Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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