yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
and you fell through a lawn chair
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
