Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she smelled like a LAN party
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she peed on how many people?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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