they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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