But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize