...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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