Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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