she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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