Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
