A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
