is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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