heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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