he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
