This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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