Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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