After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
