it was like eating out sand paper
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
