we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
