I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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