Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
