I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
