she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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