There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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