After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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