Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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