i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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