after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
