i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
