just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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