She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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