My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
no you cant smoke seaweed
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
