Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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