so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I love you. Go after that dick
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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