Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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