So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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