i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
