Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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