actually, I'm a sock model
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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