You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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