im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize