OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize