Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
