I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I had to cum in my sink.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
