i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
