I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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