I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
