he shaved USA in his pubs
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my being single is dangerous.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
