you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
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