I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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