Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
