I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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