I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
