ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
