remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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