Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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